Have you ever thought you were over something and then realized you really aren't? This question was posed to me by a friend today, and of course, my answer was, "Uh, yeah!" Feelings, hurts, offenses, anger, shock, and confusion can all arise when a certain stimulus triggers the same responses you've had to a past situation. I've always hated that saying, "Forgive and forget!" Yeah, right! Without a true miracle, it's not likely that I will forget. Some will say that you haven't truly forgiven if you haven't forgotten. Well, if that's the case then I'm in a heap of trouble.
Our minds are extremely powerful and complex. Yet, one thing that I know for sure is that mine doesn't forget offense, hurts, and pains very readily. I do believe, however, that even though I don't forget, I do forgive. I believe that forgiveness isn't a feeling or a thought but an action demonstrated in love. Love doesn't keep a record of wrongs, but truly, my mind doesn't forget them either. I'm not talking about every little thing that happens that can often offend some people. We should not be easily offended. I'm talking about really being hurt or wronged in something that is very important in life: such as your family, your job, your ministry, your church, and your friends.
The Bible doesn't tell us not to be angry but to be slow to anger and to not sin in our anger. Now, I'm not suggesting we all go around being angry all the time. I'm just stating that there are things in our lives that often require time, diligence in prayer, and lots of practice in love for us to overcome. God is Faithful! He's also very gracious and continually merciful. He understands more than we give Him credit. He's not standing over us with a hammer ready to pound us every time our hurt or our anger rises up. He's moved by every movement of our heart towards Him. Every movement of our heart in desire to please Him and be like Him moves Him with much compassion and mercy, even if we fail in our attempts.
Yet, we are also instructed to get rid of anger, rage, and bad feelings towards others. We shouldn't coddle our offenses and our anger, but we should aggressively rid ourselves of them through the power of the Holy Spirit. We should not, however, be surprised if we aggressively rid ourselves of these things on Monday and they resurface on Tuesday. Remember, His mercies are new every morning, and His grace is sufficient for each day's tasks and trials.
Do you remember when Peter asked Jesus how many times he had to forgive his brother? Peter thought seven times sounded good. Jesus said, "Seventy times seven!" WHAT! Yet, Jesus wasn't asking him to do anything that He Himself wasn't willing to do or hadn't already done. This passage is followed by this next phrase, "Therefore the kingdom of heaven..." See, we are first and foremost citizens of the Kingdom of heaven. God's Kingdom is not like the kingdoms of this world and men. We are to be different; the Kingdom of heaven requires it. If we want heaven on earth, then we must abide and live like citizens of heaven.
What I've found is that even though I may not forget offenses or hurts, as time passes and I diligently pray and work at it, the pain and offense lessens and doesn't set me off like it once did. Although, I may remember it, my past emotional responses do not take over and last for hours or days. That's what I call progression...and all of my Christian walk seems to be just that.
Scriptures for reference and study: 1 Corinthians 13:5; James 1:19; Ephesians 4:26; Matthew 26:41; Psalm 111:4; Hebrews 4:15; Colossians 3:8; Lamentations 3:22-23; 2 Corinthians 12:9; Matthew 8:21-23
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