Have you ever spent years praying for something? I mean 10, 15, 20 years? Have you ever heard the saying, "Good things come to those who wait!"? It's true. Besides, it's scriptural.
The Lord is good to those who wait hopefully and expectantly for Him, to those who seek Him [inquire of and for Him and require Him by right of necessity and on the authority of God's word]. Lamentations 3:25
It was 15 1/2 years ago that the Lord visited me in a vision revealing His call on my life - what He had designed and purposed for me. Finally, I have begun to see this vision unfold. It's just beginning, but Praise God! it's beginning! The last 15 1/2 years have been tough. I mean REAL TOUGH!!! So many times, I had no idea what was happening or why it was happening or if anything was happening. Here's something I wrote a little over 3 years ago:
As I lay in a tub of hot water, reading the Bible, and pondering another day gone by, I once again lament over the purpose of my life. It seems no matter how hard I try, the battle in my mind is ever raging. Did I hear God right? Maybe, I was trying to make myself someone I’m not. Maybe I was just too lazy to go to medical school. How could I even think that God could use me to reach the world for His kingdom? No matter how many times I tell myself that the call on my life is real, the enemy tells me that many times plus one that it is not. The war continues. Some days I win. Some days the enemy wins. Yet, no matter the outcome of each day’s battles, the urge to reach the world with the Gospel of Jesus Christ pounds harder and harder.
Surely the Lord doesn’t need one more preacher, one more teacher to tell the world that Jesus is the only Way. He has a multitude of qualified ministers who have the anointing and the funds to travel the world, and I know that their relationship with the Lord must be a whole lot better than mine. Besides, I’m a woman. I’ve been divorced. I’m remarried, and I have a young daughter. Most people think I’m slightly odd, and they’re probably right. I’ve never related too well to those in my generation, but rather feel more at home with those who are 10-25 years my elders. I’ve made a lot of bad choices in my life and have paid the consequences of many, but I know I have so much more potential.
Many days the possibilities seem endless. If God, Who is not a respector of persons, could part the Red Sea for the Israelites, could topple the walls of Jericho with a blow of the trumpets and a shout of the people, could change Saul – the persecutor of Christians – to Paul – the great apostle, and could translate Philip from the presence of the Ethiopian eunuch to Azotus, He could definitely use this small town, insignificant, determined women to minister the Gospel. Couldn’t He?
Many more days the obstacles seem insurmountable. This world grows darker and darker with each passing day. The economy is crumbling to pieces with each breath, and the nations consider right wrong and wrong right. I don’t feel any closer to my divine destiny today than I did 12 years and 4 months ago when God gave me the vision. “Hope deferred makes a heart sick” is increasingly real and painful to me. I find myself questioning, “Is it worth it?”
Obviously, these are words of a hurting woman. I often asked myself this same question during the last 15 1/2 years. Yet, here I am.
And I will say, "It is worth it!" When things began to unfold in our lives, they really began to unfold. With this unfolding comes a lot of praying, a lot of work, a lot of worshiping, a lot of thanksgiving, and a lot of humility. Yet, it is all worth it! Truly, when the windows of heaven open up in your life, the blessings of God will overtake you, and you will not be able to contain them all.
We are only seeing the beginning of this, yet it can be so overwhelming sometimes. He loves me so much!!!! He truly loves me more than I can measure. To think I spent 15 1/2 years complaining, whining, hollering, and ranting at Him... Oh, how He loves me!
We are at a place in our lives now where we know we have NO idea what we are doing. Yet, it doesn't seem to matter because He does, and He didn't waste these last 15 1/2 years of my life. Through all of my temper tantrums, He molded me, shaped me, formed me, and changed me into the woman He saw me to be. Actually, He hasn't stopped, but now these past 15 1/2 years don't seem such a waste to me.
I have seen the sick raised from the death bed with Life. I have seen a refund of about $700 payed to us for something I would have never dreamed we would get back. I have seen my husband earn a record week in pay in his 6 years at his job. I have seen a nice vehicle given to us as a 2nd vehicle so that I would no longer have to drive my husband to work which is 1 hour away from us. I have seen ministry, which I had almost all but given up on, open wide.
I'm talking overtaking blessings! It IS Worth it!
Scriptures for reference and study: Matthew 7:7-8; Malachi 3:10; Ephesians 3:17-21; Romans 11:29; Ephesians 2:10
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